Change

Sermon Delivered By

Reverend Nancy Bouchard

December 28, 2008

Lose weight, exercise, quit smoking, save money, eat healthy; spend more time with people I love. There's something intriguing and exciting about wanting to turn a new page, start a new chapter, follow a new path….in other words...make a resolution to change.

There is also something unsettling and overwhelming.

And what about the timing? We come off a holiday where we have probably been overindulgent in every way, only to be greeted at the door by this expectation of sacrificial action, a New Years resolution. There is something very wrong with this picture.

Six thousand years ago the Babylonians celebrated the New Year with the spring equinox. When the season of rest, hibernation and dormancy was ending and the new moon signaled the season of life bursting forth, the Babylonians would spend 11 days welcoming in the new. And the resolutions were simple...return borrowed farm equipment back to family, neighbors and friends.

The logic of timing would remain for over 2000 years until the Romans modified the calendar, and changed the date of New Years to January 1st. Romans named the first month of the year after the mythical figure Janus who was reputed to have had two faces that allowed him to look backward and forward. The Romans celebrated New Years by giving gifts and seeking forgiveness from enemies.

The dates of New Years celebration have been altered on numerous occasions throughout history, until 1582, when the Gregorian calendar restored January 1^st as the New Year.

Interestingly, Britain and the US did not adopt the January date until 1752.

Over time, the reasons and the ways in which we bring in the New Year have evolved. Almost universally there is a relationship between beginning anew and commitment to change; either behavioral change or making decisions that will change circumstances. Our lives are admittedly far more complex than they were in early agrarian cultures. But what it most obvious is how we have become far more focused on individual change and less conscious of change for the sake of the community. Most of us (if we decide to make a resolution at all) select behaviors that we have struggled with. We decide New Years is the time to make decisions we have been avoiding, we commit to ridding ourselves of habits or addictions that not only require great insight, but they often demand efforts that are superhuman. Finally, whatever we chose to change we often sabotage through an equally ambitious commitment to resistance.

Researchers have studied the dynamics of resolutions and behavioral changes, and there are four references that seem to capture the process.

First is Attitude, an emotional response integrating “affect, behavior and cognition” (referred to in the field as the psychology of personal constructs) Clinical psychologist George Kelly theorized that to change behaviors we have to change our attitudes. To do that he found individual must “seek new experiences...try out new behaviors and coping strategies…..[and practice them].”

Dr. Calvin William's has also done a great deal of research on the processes of change and he describes the patterns of paralyzed thinking as “cerebral ruts.” Cerebral rut is knowing that we need to change things but our motivation and decisions to act towards change are incapacitated. Some of the thinking that Williams refers to as limiting our success for changing include: self-defeating conclusions, oversimplifications, narrow focus, rationalization, and believing what we feel rather than the facts.

Dr. William Glasser, noted psychiatrist best known for his work in reality therapy has revised some of his thoughts and presents a source of change he calls “choice theory.” Very briefly his foundation is the unique manner in which each of us creates a “quality world.” Views and beliefs that reinforce the way in which we interpret and adapt in order to sustain self image and life giving relationships. He explores how there can be inconsistencies between our quality world and reality and the conflict may keep us in an unproductive cycle.

As the New Year rolls around, I reflect on my own failures in attempts to change, I resonate with the theories of personal construct, cerebral rut, and choice theory. I do not recall every in my life fulfilling one of my resolutions and when I conducted an informal poll of family and friends very few felt they had ever been successful.

Statistics say 82% of us will not achieve our resolutions.

From a ministerial and spiritual perspective,, I believe it is important to encourage individuals in their personal transformations. Our principles talk about spiritual growth and the church setting can be a place for changes to be supported. Sermons. music, readings, community building activities, meditation, committee relationships and pastoral guidance; are among the many opportunities that present themselves.

I also believe that the Babylonians and Romans provided great insight for us thousands of years ago. Resolutions of change need not always or only be directed at the individual. Making resolutions and commitments to a relationship system can create an energy that can also transforms the individual in an even bigger way.

The fourth theory of change and what I see at the heart of the change in this moment at this time… is “engagement.” It is, as this mornings reading articulated, finding the place where the “breath of life passes through.” Engagement theory is finding the flow, in this context, the spiritual energy, to set aside the posturing, the self fulfillment, the dynamics of the attitudes and self-defeating systems and resolve this year to seek success and I propose it would be success within our faith community.

I was definitely enlightened when I arrived at UUCLV and talked with many member of the church about some of the struggles and tensions in the church. Trust had been eroded, leadership was fractured, the mission of the church was fragile, and emotions were of a reactive nature rather then thoughtful. It was summed up best in these words “The problem here is we love each other but we don't like each other. “ an astute Jean Davis summarized this for me.

As confusing and contradictory as that statement might seem, I understood it. It has lead me to seek and stay curious about changes that might be needed within the church to make it a healthy, inviting and a vital place for spiritual growth.

As the theories of the researchers suggest we may well have fallen into the complacency of personal construct, cerebral ruts, quality world thinking: creating a culture that is not as fulfilling as it could be and falling short of some reality testing.

In such an environment the few change for the whole. The few decide and control for the whole. Reaction prevails over respect, and thoughtful processes and our vision for cohesiveness diminishes. This rule of engagement requires each of you to be in the mix. You are, every one of you, a hole in the flute. You have unique gifts, unique perspectives, and unique energy. But it is only when each of you contributes to the whole that harmony, spiritual growth; an authentic faith community really exists.

The idea might seem overwhelming but New Years resolutions are traditionally challenging. The statistic site an 88 % failure rate of New Years resolutions, but the rest of the story is also revealing. Those who achieve their goals are specific, they develop strategies, practice new behaviors, adjust for relapses, find support through others and fully engage.

I’m asking you to do something very specific, but I want first to give you examples of others who are engaged.” The choir practices between 2 and 4 hours weekly. They commit and devote time to this community so that we may all have a significant worship experience. They have resolved to invest in you and in this church.

There would be little communication in this church if it weren’t for Kerry Jones. He coordinates the Spectator, assembles and delivers the e-news to us every week and he is the master of our webpage where we get thousands of hits as people look for a faith community where they are welcomed.

Ginny and Ceases Blocker were here well after we all went home on Christmas Eve, washing dishes, picking up, emptying the trash, vacuuming the floor, caring for our spiritual home. They resolved to make your holiday service joyful and undemanding.

For the last couple of weeks, Ellen Bell, and Chris Culton have been spending hours and hours at the church on remodeling projects, assisted by Chris Heller, Kurt Zipprodt, Jim Whited and Will Stadler.

I know I have missed others and it is not for lack of gratitude or recognition but time. I thank each of you and notice the dedication and I want to extend this opportunity for stewardship to each of you. I want to ask each of you to resolve this year to come to church a 1/2 hour early or stay a 1/2 late or come on a day off some other time only once a month.

Engage in who we say we are, be authentic in your commitment to our principles. And it does’t have to be painful. Invite friends or people you don’t know, get pizza, meet here and work on a project together. There are also tasks that are not physically demanding so everyone can be part of the sound of the flute as we play a tender melody. I reiterate words from our reading this morning:

“Let spirit play its song through our tender experience, enabling us to listen, as well, to the miraculous music coming through others. When we are astonished into such humility, there is great strength and joy in listening together for the song of spirit that arises so uniquely from our brush with life on earth…”

Happy New Year.

May it be so. Blessed be. Shalom. Om namah sivia, amen

Attitude and Behavior

Encyclopedia of Psychology by Paula Ford-Martin

Choice Theory by William Glasser, M.D.